“I may not agree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.” – (Often attributed to Voltaire, though actually written by Evelyn Beatrice Hall)

The Power of Open Conversations

Adaptive and Inclusive Leadership is built on the foundation of listening, understanding, and meaningful conversations. This may be a challenging conversation—one that might make people uncomfortable—but I invite you to join me with an open mind. My goal isn’t to convince anyone to change their beliefs but to share my own thoughts and experiences. In doing so, I hope we can listen to each other with curiosity and respect. One of the values I strive to live by is the principle captured in the quote above: real progress happens when we respect each other’s right to speak, even when we disagree. Because without mutual respect, conversations become walls instead of bridges. Can we at least agree on this—when we disagree, respect is non-negotiable?

Understanding My Identity

The Lens I See Through

I was born and raised in Brazil in a multiracial family with European, African, and Indigenous ancestry. As a result, I’ve learned to navigate multiple cultural perspectives. I’m a Latina, an immigrant, and a Christian. A leader. I’m also married to a Hungarian, living in California, and navigating a world where I often feel like I belong everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

These layers don’t fully define me, but they do shape how I experience and contribute to the world. Additionally, they’ve given me a deep appreciation for complexity, resilience, and the tension of holding multiple truths at once. They’ve also shown me that identity is rarely simple—and that real leadership means making room for different perspectives without forcing them to be the same. Read about cultural intelligence in leadership.

Growing up in this mix of cultures, I saw firsthand how different people view justice. Some saw it as a way to reclaim what was lost; others as a way to erase the past and start fresh. For instance, some wanted to heal, while others wanted to punish. These competing perspectives taught me that justice isn’t about flipping the script—it’s about writing a new one. And that’s why I believe real leadership starts with listening, not just reacting.

Because justice without understanding isn’t justice at all.

Learning Leadership Through Experience

Given my background, it’s no surprise that I work in adaptive, inclusive leadership with a global perspective. But I didn’t choose this path—it chose me. Moreover, I wish I could say my journey toward being adaptive and inclusive came solely from formal education or training. While those things matter (and I teach them), my deepest lessons have come through lived experience.

One of those experiences was being told to leave home at 16 because my mother and I had different values. As a result, I was forced to navigate a world where belonging wasn’t guaranteed. I moved from house to house, relationship to relationship, workplace to workplace, and eventually country to country. And through it all, I learned a common truth across cultures: inclusive minds build bridges across differences and make people feel seen, valued, and comfortable.

I loved my mother, and we eventually reconciled, but it wasn’t easy. If I’m honest, I pursued her until she gave in. Every time she pushed me away, I kept coming back. I had a friend, Ed, who would often pick me up after my mother kicked me out. Every time, he’d ask, “Seriously, Sabrina, when are you going to learn?”

What Ed didn’t realize was that I was learning.

Listening as a Leadership Skill in Adaptive and Inclusive Leadership

I learned that my mother—like many—struggled with emotional intelligence. She often misread others’ emotions and struggled to express her own. However, I kept listening—not just to her words, but to the unspoken.

So I listened. Even when she didn’t want to hear me, I kept listening—to her words, her body language, the silences in between. Slowly, frustration gave way to understanding. And one day, after nearly 20 years, I finally said the words she had been waiting for:

“I’m sorry.”

No justifications. No defensiveness. Just an apology.

Everything changed. My mother grew curious about my life, my beliefs, my values. She still held tightly to hers, as she should, but she began to respect that I could hold tightly to mine, as I should. Most importantly, that transformation taught me a lesson I carry into my leadership work every day: listening—not just hearing—is the foundation of empathy and connection. Read why active listening is crucial for leaders.

And yet, I didn’t always see it that way.

Justice and Leadership

Balancing the Scales Without Flipping Them

For years, I believed my mother was the one who needed to change. That if she could just see things from my perspective, everything would be fine. I was so focused on being understood that I failed to understand her. Eventually, I realized that real change happened when I stopped trying to win the argument and started listening.

And this is where I see a parallel with how we approach justice today.

A-symbolic-representation-of-inclusive-leadership-and-justice.-The-image-features-a-diverse-group-of-people-standing-on-a-bridge-engaged-in-open-conv.webp

Too often, when we try to correct injustice, we don’t balance the scales—we flip them.

We take the pain of past oppression and try to push it in the opposite direction as if shifting power dynamics rather than building mutual understanding will fix the problem. However, inverting oppression is not the same as achieving justice.

Justice isn’t about making yesterday’s oppressed into tomorrow’s oppressors. Instead, it’s about breaking the cycle entirely. Just like reconciliation with my mother required listening, humility, and the courage to let go of resentment, societal justice requires more than just taking turns holding the mic. It requires an actual connection.

We have to ask: Are we building something better or just reversing the roles? On the other hand, are we restoring balance, or are we making someone else pay for the past?

Justice should be about writing a new story—not just reversing the old one.

I believe change happens when we help those who aren’t listening to hear and those who aren’t speaking to find their voice. It’s not about overpowering or silencing anyone—it’s about making room for conversations that matter. Because without communication, there’s no connection. And without connection, there’s no progress.

This isn’t about choosing sides. It’s about choosing each other.

Creating Room for Meaningful Conversations

I’ve been blessed—and often stretched—by the incredible variety of people in my life. Additionally, I’ve learned from young, single friends navigating their purpose and empty nesters rediscovering life after raising kids. I’ve shared many (too many) delicious meals with friends from diverse cultural backgrounds—Asian, African, Latino, Indigenous—each offering unique perspectives on faith, family, and tradition. And in those conversations, I’ve realized how easy it is to make assumptions about others, misrepresent their beliefs, or talk past each other without ever truly connecting.

As an Adaptive and Inclusive Leadership Consultant, I help leaders step out of their comfort zones—because, as someone wisely said, comfort zones kill dreams. My work focuses on:

  • Increasing influence
  • Strengthening relationships
  • Improving organizations
  • Boosting personal well-being

Together, we acknowledge social differences, lean into meaningful conversations, and avoid the traps of false assumptions.

Next Steps: Engaging in Leadership Development

Leadership isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about asking better questions. And the best way to grow? Through conversation, not just instruction. That’s why I’d love to invite you into a conversation with me. Let’s explore how adaptive and inclusive leadership could transform your leadership style, your workplace, or your community. Click here to schedule a free 25-minute talk and start the conversation. When clients work with me, they commit to:

  • Studying primary sources to truly understand others’ beliefs, rather than relying on hearsay.
  • Practicing active listening by asking clarifying questions and reflecting back what they hear.
  • Building trust by finding common ground—justice, love, truth.
  • Representing opposing views in their strongest form before engaging.
  • Staying rooted in wisdom, humility, and love in every conversation.

Through this work, my clients experience the transformative power of thoughtful, truth-filled conversations. They grow into leaders who connect deeply, adapt courageously, and inspire lasting change.

Because leadership isn’t just about having a seat at the table. It’s about making sure there’s room for everyone.

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